It’s Never Casual

Reminder to Self: I Am Not Here to Be Consumed Casually.

(unedited stream of thought — this is how it came out, so this is how it stays)

It’s never casual.

If I’m going to share my body, time, and energy with you — I want it to be real.

I want it to matter.

I want to feel it echo in you, not disappear after.

how can people get away with looking you in your face and saying they just want sex

that is not normal behaviour

it’s highly disrespectful

maybe i am a prude

it’s sooo jarring

am i not a person

to look at someone and say

i am just looking for sex

is soooo grosss

maybe i am leaning into purity culture

yes

i feel like people think i want something serious

when i just, don’t want casual

i don’t want to be treated like an after thought

a transaction

i want be seen

treated as full

my connection valued

i want commitment

not necessarily a relationship

I want it to be valued

i want it to change

their life

or at least be a presence that’s valued

because i deeply value

all my connections

even the ones that are fleeting

leave a impression on me

shaping the way i view the world

i won’t ask to matter

i won’t beg for my light to be valued

i am at a stage in life

i will just leave

Reminder to Self:

I do not ask to matter.

I do not beg for my light to be valued.

I am not here to convince anyone of my worth.

My presence is a gift — thoughtful, full, and real.

If someone cannot hold it with care, I will not shrink or chase. I will leave.

Quietly. Confidently.

Because I know who I am.

And I only make room for those who know how to see me.

fuck casual

i am an experience

be present with me

let us feast, on each other’s souls

show me your true face

show me you

i wish not to escape

hold me into your embrace

Come all the way in or don’t come at all

your body standing half way

through the door

one foot in

consuming me

but some how you refuse

to show the truth

of who you truly be

you mirror my breath

but I now realise you don’t have that much depth

no shade to those

that do

but i am not wired for casual

or the way that people go about casual today

Come all the way in

or don’t come at all

live laugh love